The Key to His Words
by DychiMel36
Summary: Onodera transfers to Saga's school, but something is amiss. Onodera seems like a normal kid that doesn't stick out, but he doesn't say a word. (Saga's POV) Disabilities will be mentioned. (Autism)
1. One

**Second Story: The Key to His Words**.

 **Edited**

 **Onodera transfers to Saga's school, but something is amiss. Onodera seems like a normal kid that doesn't stick out, but he doesn't say a word. (Saga's POV)**

 **WARNING FOR CHAPTER: Bullying, Panic Attack (If you're not comfortable with it don't read it.)**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or the characters.**

Classes were over for the day. Everything was normal as always, so the next thing to do was read in the library before I get the boot. Once I took a random book off the shelf I headed toward my usual spot and found someone sitting in my seat. I often sit there because that's where you'd find the most sunlight, it was a perfect place to read.

It was a shorter kid with auburn hair, he was so focused on his book, I thought that reading at the same table wouldn't be a bad idea. Not to talk, but to have some peace and quiet. I sat in the chair and the kid jumped like I came out of nowhere. I opened the book, but I couldn't read for very long. When I put the book down this kid's hands trembling while holding his book up. He was obviously uncomfortable.

"If you're that uncomfortable I can go somewhere-" He quickly stood and speed walked out of my sight behind the different shelves. "-else..." I looked down on the floor andsaw something out of place, a cell phone.

Once I was kicked out I ran into a student that was in charge of the library after school.

"Have you seen a student with auburn hair? He was here not too long ago."

"Hmm, oh yes. It's Onodera, but I don't think he's here anymore."

"I found something that belongs to him and would like to give it to him personally. Do you know what class he's in?"

"He's in the same class as me, 2C."

I was glad that I was able to find someone who knew the guy, otherwise I would have to turn the phone in.

The next day I went to classroom 2C and ran into a couple of guys chatting outside the room. One was tall with messy jet-black hair and an attitude, the other one was a kid a tad shorter than the other with blonde hair and blue eyes, obviously a foreigner.

"I'm looking for Onodera. Is he here?"

Yah, he's here what's up?"

I wanted to hand to him myself but I remembered yesterday and thought it was a bad idea to make him uneasy again. Might as well let someone he knows give the phone to him. I took the phone out of my pocket.

"This phone belongs to him. Do you mind giving it to him for me?"

The tall one took the phone and the blonde crossed his arms. "Why can't _you_ do it?"

"It's better if he's familiar with gives it to him. I don't think he likes me anyway."

The blonde smiled. "Sure. We'll give it to him."

They both turned to the class room, so I walked to my own class. I tried seeing myself give the phone to Onodera, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. It would just make me uncomfortable. If he doesn't want to be around me he doesn't want to be around me. That's all there was to it. A few steps in I heard something hit the wall, it came from the classroom. Something must have been knocked off the wall.

During lunch I went outside and took out my bento. I just wanted to feel the cool autumn breeze in a quiet environment. In the distance I saw three people fooling around in the distance, but it became violent quickly and I realized that two guys were beating someone. It wasn't pretty. They knocked him to the ground, kicked him constantly and once they were done one pulled him up by his hair toward the guy's face. It was Onodera.

I didn't want to watch anymore. It would just become my problem if I intervene, then I'll gain an enemy or two. My few years of peace would be over.

Once they left I put up my bento and walk toward the guy with his face on the ground. As I got closer I could hear his heavy breathing and see him trembling. He moved his hands to his head and grabbed two hands full of hair and started whimpering with his heavy breathing. When I got there I moved my hand toward him and the instant I touched his back, he jumped and screamed. This wasn't regular crying. I didn't know what to call this, and I didn't know what to do. His hands started to repeat movements of grabbing hands full of hair to scratching his head. I sat on the ground next to him.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

Nothing but hyperventilated cries. The bell then rings, signalling that lunch was over.

"We need to go. Can you stand?"

Still nothing. I didn't want to be late, but I felt like I couldn't leave this guy here. The only thing I could do way out here was make a phone call to a doctor I know, my father.

"Masamune, I said to never call me!"

"I need two minutes of advice. There's a kid in front of my who was physically abused by two guys and now he's on the ground hyperventilating and crying."

"That's it!? Just pick him up and take him to a nurse!"

"If I touch him he screams and freaks out more, and when I try talking to him he doesn't respond. I'm loosing my mind!"

"...You need to get a nurse, but get someone else to do it and stay with him. He's having a panic attack. Just keep talking to him in small sentences and ask yes or no questions or questions like 'what's your name'. Don't touch him unless you tell him first, be predictable and don't surprise him. He'll calm down in 15 minutes or so." *Click*

Quick but helpful I guess. There was no one else with me, so bad news is that I'm going to be late for class. I used my father's advice and told him what I was doing and I was able to rub hi back while he was letting all of his frustrations out. I talked to him a bit and his breathing was normal again. It took about 20 minutes for him to stop, but I waited a little more to make sure he was ready.

"Lets go to the nurse." I grabbed him as lightly as I could, but he was heavy. When I moved his head to look at his face, he was asleep. "How the hell are you asleep?"I waited a little too long. I picked him up, carried him on my back, and headed inside.

His face was still pink with dried-up tears, but he looked peaceful. I don't understand how this kid could sleep so peacefully after what just happened, or sleep in general. Once we got to the nurse's office she took a look at him and treated the wounds on him. Afterwards she placed him in one of the beds. I told her about the fight and about the panic attack.

"keep and eye on him. There's still a possibility that he'll be uneasy when he wakes up, but he won't be panicking anymore today. His body is too exhausted, it's kind of like an emotional hangover."

I watched him sleep and thought about what a panic attack would be like. I couldn't even imagine myself having one, but witnessing it seemed just as uneasy. His face was covered in his hair, I pushed some aside and found that his hair was extremely soft. I brushed his bangs to the side and his face was white and flawless, he looked better than most of the girls in school. When he woke up he looked around a little and looked like he was in pain, and when he saw me I think he blushed.

"We're in the nurse's office. You had a panic attack after some guys pounded you." He broke eye contact and his face was even more flushed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Do you need anything or do you want to go back to class?"

All he did was roll to the opposite side from me without a single word. I think he was ignoring me or maybe he was too tired to talk.

"Look, if I did something to offend or hurt you I'm sorry. I need to get back to class, I'll tell your teacher where you are."

I only made it to my last class and because of the nurse I was off the hook for not showing up, so afterwards I headed toward the library. About half way there I was stopped by the nurse.

"Excuse me Saga, do you have a moment? I have some important questions to ask."

Great, now I have to wait for peace a little longer. I really wasn't in the mood since I almost went into a panic already today, I REALLY didn't want to be reminded of what happened.

"It's about Onodera, the boy you helped. In detail, what happened once he woke up?"

"He didn't panic or anything, but he wasn't responsive."

"Did you try talking to him?" Now I'm curious.

"I asked if he needed anything and he ignored me. Not much to it."

She had a concerned look on her face. "He didn't say _anything_?"

"No." I didn't know what she was thinking about at this point, but still curious. Now that I think about it, I've never heard him speak. I've only known him for two days, but with this much exposure to each other I don't think he even knows my name.

"Thank you for your time." With a soft smile she walked off.

I opened the door to the library and found myself at peace once more. I headed toward my seat and found Onodera there again. The book in his hand was a book on how to socialize, and his eyes looked like they were begging for knowledge. Hopefully he'll be more comfortable with me sitting with him this time. I sat in the seat and took a book out of my bag, but that's all it took for him to freak out again. His body trembled again, but he was still holding his book up trying as hard as he could to concentrate. I couldn't stop looking at him, I was seeing how long it would take for him to crack and leave like he did last time.

His head didn't move from the book, but his mouth opened and a very small whisper came out. " _Hi._ "

I couldn't BELIEVE what I was witnessing, he was actually struggling to talk. Why didn't I see it before? I think he's selectively mute!

"Hi... Are you okay now?"

No response.

"It's fine. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I'll admit it was a miracle, he was actually able to sit still the whole time until we were kicked out. As we got our shoes out I saw his name on the locker door and realized. "My name is Saga by the way, Saga Masamune."

He didn't look me in the eye the whole time I was with him, but he managed to open his mouth again.

 _"...saga."_

As I watched him slip on his shoes, I felt like helping him. He seems so fragile and helpless especially since I saw him get bullied. I felt that if I left him I would have a guilty conscious for the rest of my life.

* * *

I've been seeing Onodera every day the past week. We usually just see each other in the library and read in silence. Speaking of silence, I went to ask the nurse about her concerns. She would know what's been going on right?

I knocked on the door. "Hello?"

"Hi there! What can I do for you?"

"Actually I came to ask you about Onodera. I was wondering if you knew what was going on with him when it comes to his speech." I couldn't help but feel awkward talking about someone else's problem.

"Not much to tell you. It could be trauma, social anxiety, or fear, but even if I knew I'm not allowed to tell anyone anything personal. That's Onodera's business, just let the teachers do what they need to do."

How disappointing, teachers can't really do much either. Bullying would not be so bad and less kids would have self-image problems if teachers actually did a thing.

"Don't worry about it Saga. Keep doing what you're doing now. Be a friend to him and he'll open up to you some day."

The nurse's warm smile gave me belief. I felt confident that I can actually help him, but at the same time I'm thinking about how tough beginnings are, especially friendships. I have my own issues to deal with and I never cared about making friends.

I walked back to class for lunch and found Onodera standing awkwardly outside of my classroom.

"What are you doing?"

He jumped at the sound of my voice and still stood there looking my way, but not in the eye.

"You were waiting for me, huh? Lets go outside for lunch."

He followed me silently until we got to a bench. I took out my lunch and saw Onodera sit, but I realized that he came empty handed.

"Did you eat already?"

All I heard next was a growling stomach, but he lightly nodded.

"Don't contradict yourself. Here I'll give you some of my spaghetti."

I put half on the lid and gave the bowl to him. Luckily I carried two forks in case I drop one. Once I handed him the food, his eyes were just blankly staring at it. I took a bite to see if he would join in, but nothing changed. He picked up the food and handed it back to me.

"You need to eat something. Just take my garlic bread."

He looked at the garlic bread practically drooling. He then took a small bite and chewed slowly like he was being careful about it. He turned and saw me looking at him and stopped chewing. His face was as red as my marinara sauce. He then placed the bread back on the plate. I became confused, what am I supposed to do with someone that refuses to eat? I felt like a parent to a picky three year old.

"Sigh... Fine you don't have to eat if you don't want to."

My appetite was gone. I couldn't bare to eat with someone who's starving himself, it'll just make me feel guilty. I threw my food away and hoped for a conversation.

"I want to be a friend to you. Someone who listens to you when you have something on your mind. I know we've only known each other for about two weeks and I understand that it's not going to be easy. I just have to be patient, but I want you to at least try too. I probably won't be with you your whole life, so at least take advantage of this opportunity."

I looked at him and wondered if he was listening, usually his body language is easy to understand when he's scared. His eyes were on the ground the whole time with no expression at all.

 _"...Okay."_ Still nothing more than a whisper.

"Do you have something you want to talk about? Anything on your mind?"

He had a painful look on his face, and his fingers intertwined tightly.

"It doesn't have to be something personal. Like, tell me about a book you're reading or something."

His mouth shook and he started to tense up. Then an idea came to me, I took out a notepad and a pen and gave it to him.

"Write it down if you have trouble saying it."

He was hesitant at first, but after a few seconds he started to write.

 _Onodera Ritsu._

I got a little excited when I saw the words in my notebook. "So your first name is Ritsu. Want to tell me anything else?" He thought for a moment then started writing again.

 _I like to read._

"What do you like to read?"

 _Anything._

During the whole lunch break he wrote in the notebook the most basic things about himself. I learned that he doesn't like animals very much, he has no siblings, his favorite color is green, and he's a bookworm. It seemed like he was getting used to writing things down, so an idea came to mind. Since he can communicate to me, I can ask him something a little more personal.

"Is your voice gone? I mean, is that the reason why you don't speak?"

He froze up a bit and hesitated on his answer.

 _I don't feel like talking._

"Why not?"

He tensed up more and he started scratching his head nonstop.

"What are you afraid of?"

He began to hyperventilate and both of his hands scratched his head. I didn't know what to do next, felt like panicking with him. I didn't understand why he was so afraid, it's like he's been traumatized. He took a big breath and picked up the pen to write something down. He wrote something down and ran off leaving the notebook next to me. I picked up the notebook and ran after him.

I saw him crouch down in a corner and bawl his eyes out. I looked in the notebook and read the word 'Mistakes' in big messy letters. I walked up to him slowly and kneeled next to him.

"I'm going to touch you. Okay?"

I pat his back, hoping to comfort him. I thought about what he wrote in the notebook. He said 'mistakes', so does that mean he's afraid of making mistakes?

"I don't understand why making a mistake would get you so anxious. I make mistakes all the time and so does everyone else, that's how we learn. If you stay afraid like this you'll make living difficult for yourself."

He calmed down, but he was still looking down.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's got you troubled?"

 _"... I hate myself."_

His voice was soft and sad. I thought I had issues, but this kid also gave up on asking for help until now. Why is making a mistake something to hate yourself over? I didn't know, but I knew that Ritsu needed a ear. Someone who is willing to listen to someone else's problems.

"After school meet me at the front gate, we're going to my house."

 _"Why?"_

"We can hang out or talk some more. Are you alright with that?"

He didn't respond or move, so I helped him up. "Just meet me at the gate after school."

* * *

Once school was out I moved so quick that I almost forgot to change my shoes. When I got to the gate I spotted Ritsu standing there. "Let's go."

On the way I noticed Ristu walking behind me with stiff foot steps. I bet he's nervous. "You don't have to be so nervous." He jumped. The walk home was slow and the sun was starting turning bright orange. "Time flies when you're having fun." Ristu then looked up and searched the sky. I was befuddled.

"What are you looking for?"

 _"... A clock."_

I wanted to ask 'why', but I had a feeling that it wasn't a good idea, but then I thought about a clock tower. Maybe he's looking for a way to tell time, but then I saw his wrist.

"You have a watch on."

He glanced down to his watch and his face started to turn pink. It was a little... cute.

I opened the door to my house and found my kitten, Sorata, greeting me at the door.

"My room is upstairs. Go ahead, I'm going to get us something to drink."

The drinks were made and once I walked up stairs I found Ritsu just standing in the middle of the hallway.

"What are you doing? My room is here." I opened the door and I made myself comfortable, but I think Ritsu was having trouble. I told him that he could sit by me and he sat, when I told him that the tea was his he didn't touch it, and when I told him to take off his jacket he didn't. He did stare at my books in the corner of my room.

"Take a look if you want." He did just that. He took a look at every book in that corner and started sorting them. I wanted him to feel comfortable before we talk.

"Can you tell me why you're afraid of making mistakes?"

He didn't look away from the books and while I was waiting for a response I realized that he was... chewing his tongue.

"Ritsu." Still nothing.

I stopped the book in his hand from moving and told him to not mess with the books for now and he obeyed. I asked him the question again and he started to look around.

"No notepad."

He looked disappointed. He started to fidget with his fingers. It took a while but he let something out.

 _"I make people angry... They say I'm rude, weird... retarded."_

Tears started to stream down and his fidgeting went to the zipper of his jacket.

 _"Mom told me that they're all jealous... and that's why they pick on me. I want to talk to them, but I don't know how to talk to them. It's like they speak a different language. They tell me to do things sometimes. One time on a bus someone told me to sing a song they made, because it would make them happy. 'I have a little clown, his name is Dingaling, I put him in the middle and he does a funny thing.' They were right everyone laughed, but when I sang it to a teacher I got in trouble and still don't know why."_

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. These people were cruel to him and tricked him. I felt my body heat rise as he told me his story.

 _"Ever since I started school here I was told that I eat weird, look weird, sound weird... I asked many times 'How?' but no one will tell me. So I stopped eating in public, using the bathroom outside of home, and talking to people. No one would tell me why I'm weird, so I stopped trying to fit in... Even though I really REALLY want to. I had a friend once, but I think he got too frustrated with me and stopped hanging around me. People want me to make eye contact, but it hurts to and I can't hear what they're saying, and I hate being touched... Please don't hate me."_

I wanted to go back to school and slaughter anyone in sight. Everyone treated him like dirt, no lower than dirt, they basically made him an outcast.

"I don't have any reason to hate you." I was trying not to cry. "Thank you for telling me I know it wasn't easy, you can talk to me anytime okay. Don't ever think that I'll hate you, because you... deserved to be loved just like everyone else."

He wiped his tears and when he looked up I saw a bright smile on the broken hearted boy. I couldn't hold myself anymore I had to hug him, so I blindly leaned toward him. When I opened my eyes I found my lips upon his. It was a soft and delicate kiss. I felt my heart melting from it and I also felt my warmth go to him. I hope that his smile stays this time for both him and others who are unable to smile like this.

I opened my wet eyes and found my lips lightly on Ritsu's, I couldn't believe that I kissed him. I quickly moved away from him and felt guilty.

"Sorry, I touched you without asking."

I looked up and saw his face redder than a glowing stop light in the night time and he couldn't process what just happened. He looked down and couldn't stop trembling.

"It's okay Ritsu, I won't touch you anymore."

He jumped up as faster than normal, bowed, and ran out of the room. Once I heard the door slam I found his bag next to my books. I couldn't get myself to chase him down.

* * *

After that day I haven't seen Onodera for a week so far. When he made himself vulnerable I felt a horrible vibe. As far as I know, he has social anxiety and something called Asperger's Syndrome. I looked up 'Autism' and found that they usually have anxiety and depression. I talked with the nurse and only told her that Onodera was a victim of bullying, and she wasn't surprised.

After getting chased out of the library I found Onodera awkwardly standing at the gate. He's wearing a brown button-down with jeans. I walked up to him expecting him to say something along the lines of why he wasn't around for a week, but I didn't get anything from him. Not even eye contact.

"What, no greeting?"

He lifted his hand and waved immediately and opened his mouth failing to vocalize his 'Hi'.

It was a good start, but oh well. "Didn't see you for a week. Anything you want to talk about?" He shook his head.

"So what are you doing here? School's over."

He took out a small notebook and flipped a few pages over and showed it to me.

 _Do you want to come over to my house today?_

I got a little annoyed at the notebook, but tried hard not to show that. To be honest, I have been curious about his home.

* * *

 ***'Dingaling' in the early 2000s meant a penis. It was a slang back then. I know most don't use it now.**

 ***On the 'Time flies' part Ritsu was looking around for a clock with wings flying around if you didn't get that.**

 **Thank you for reading. I want to end it here, because honestly I wanted to just put my feelings and experience down. I don't know if this would be a good long story, plus I have another one I need to finish. If this is something you want me to continue let me know and I'll give it a shot.**

 **If you haven't guessed what he has it's actually Asperger's Syndrome (Autism). I hope this helps people think before calling someone weird.**

 **Please comment and ask questions if you wish.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait, life got in the way. I added Ritsu's side to give you some perspective of what he's going through. Hope you enjoy it.**

 **I do NOT own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or the characters.**

* * *

 _Ritsu's POV_

I don't get Saga Senpai. Why would he stick around me? He knows a lot now because of it. I don't want any friends and I don't want anyone knowing me. Every time I told someone about my problems, they all avoided me afterwards. Usually, all I say is that I'm depressed, but NEVER about the A-word.

I decided that I need to talk to Saga senpai and tell to just forget everything and to never see me again. I wanted to feel confident, but I felt a slight pinch in my chest. I want to believe that he cares about me, but in the end, I know he'll run away.

I practiced speaking in the mirror. I greeted myself more than I practiced the subject of 'leave me alone'. A problem with this is that I can't look myself in the eye or even my face. Every time I do I just end up more depressed. I hear my own mind tell myself a variety of insults that I can't deny.

I looked inside my closet and went to my 'nice' section and picked out a button down and a pair of clean jeans. I want him to take me seriously, so I wanted to look serious. I took a deep breath and walk out the door hoping everything would go according to plan.

I got there too early, and I knew that he would be in the library. I felt like an idiot, so not knowing what to do next I just stood there waiting, then the bell rang. The bell startled me, I was hoping to be here later than this. I watched a river of students flow out of each entrance of the building and head toward the gate.

I felt their eyes on me and I'm sure they're talking about how ridiculous I look or stand or even breathe.

My hands started sweating and my breathing was starting to get heavy. I felt my legs tremble, wanting to retreat, then I heard the word 'weird' in the loud crowd. I couldn't take anymore and sat behind the gate. I covered my ears and felt my body rock back and forth.

I can't stand people watching me with their judgmental eyes. I used to persistently try to please others so they could see me as a good person, but I could never live up to their standards. I remember asking my mother why I was getting picked on so much. She told me that they were jealous, but ever since the diagnosis, I found the truth. It's my fault.

* * *

 _Saga's POV_

I couldn't believe how massive the house was when I came. He is one of those spoiled rich kids, and it ticked me off a little bit. We stepped into the house and it was quiet.

"Are your parents home?"

He shook his head without looking back to me and escorted me to a room full of books. The room had thousands of books, more than the school library.

"You must love books."

Ritsu lifted his hand, basically telling me to pick something out, and walked out of the room. Since he likes sorting books, I wondered how he sorted them. Authors were in ABC order along with the titles. I wanted to see if he would notice a book being out of place.

I hear the door open and Ritsu came in with green tea and cakes. I'm not really into sweet things, but I took the green tea and picked out a book by Usami Akihiko.

After a few chapters I couldn't read anymore, I looked up at Ritsu and he was in a book. I wanted to break the silence, but he still didn't answer my question.

"Why did you miss school for a week?"

I heard him flip a page. I grabbed his book and push it downward, his face was red as a tomato. He looked ashamed or embarrassed.

"Was it because of what I did? There's no reason to be embarrassed."

 _"I'm~~~~..."_

"What?"

 _"Sorry... I told you... a lot."_

I thought he was embarrassed about the kiss, but he is ashamed of what he told me. Usually it would be the other way around.

"How do you feel about me?"

His face told me everything. His was was redder and he started to mumble again. It was cute. I released his book.

"You don't have to tell me right now if you don't want to. So you wanted me to come over just to look at your book collection?"

 _"...No. I wanted to... talk to you."_

"Are you only comfortable talking at your house?"

He nodded.

"What do you want to talk about?"

 _"Why did you make... lip contact?"_

"You mean why did I kiss you?"

He placed his book and the table and nodded.

"Did you like it?"

 _"I don't like... physical contact."_

That hurt a little, but I should've expected that. I'm glad that I looked up what Autism is.

 _"Why don't you hate me?"_

"What reason would I have to have you? You're a little awkward, but that doesn't give me a reason to despise you. For example, You brought us cake, but you're not eating it. Why is that?"

 _"..."_

"Get your cake, we're eating it."

 _"I-I'm not... hungry."_

That sounded like a lie.

"You're bad at lying aren't you?"

I grab the cakes and placed them in front of us. Ritsu looked at it, but didn't touch it.

"Take a bite. If it makes you feel better I'll take one with you. Just do what I do."

I pick up my fork and put a piece of cake on it and wait for Ritsu. Once he was ready I placed the piece in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Ritsu just held the fork looking like he didn't know what to do.

"You DO eat don't you?"

 _"At home."_

"So you starve yourself at school!?"

 _"I'm fine. I eat... when I get home."_

I was starting to get angry.

"Eat the cake."

It took him a while, but he carefully took the small bite and chewed slowly. He looked extremely uncomfortable. When he finally swallowed I had to give him praise.

"Good. Now Everyday you're going to eat lunch with me at school."

 _"... But-"_

"A butt is what you sit on when you eat with me."

He started to pout, I couldn't help but think about how cute his pout is.

"Alright, I have to go home. We'll talk some more tomorrow."

I got up, placed the book in its proper place, and said my goodbyes.

* * *

 **Sorry for how short it is. I'm working on it.**


End file.
